11.02.2005

Mark Linn Baker, we hardly knew thee

A Conversation I had with Mark Linn Baker, Who I Met Tonight

Random Dude: Hey man, you’re the guy from Perfect Strangers!
Mark Linn Baker: Yep, that’s me. Good to meet you.
Random Dude fades back into the crowd
Helen: You must get that a lot.
Mark Linn Baker: Yep.
Helen: Cool.

Conversations I Would Have Liked To Have Had With Mark Linn Baker, Who I Met Tonight

Helen: You must get that a lot.
MLB: Yep.
Helen: You know I always felt sort of connected to Perfect Strangers, since I grew up in Chicago.
MLB: Oh really?
Helen: You don’t actually care, do you?
MLB: No, not really.
Helen: You’re not a very good celebrity.
MLB: Fuck off.


Helen: You must get that a lot.
MLB: Yep.
Helen: So… that Frog & Toad musical thing totally bombed, huh?
MLB: Fuck off.


Helen: You must get that a lot.
MLB: Yep.
Helen: So you’re on that show with the girl from Roseanne.
MLB: Actually it was canceled.
Helen: Yeah, I heard it was crap.
MLB: Fuck off.


Helen: You must get that a lot.
MLB: Yep.
Helen: So you’re on that show with the girl from Roseanne.
MLB: Sarah Gilbert, yeah, great girl.
Helen: I heard she’s a lesbian.
MLB: Fuck off.


Helen: You must get that a lot.
MLB: Yep.
Helen: So you’re on that show with the girl from Roseanne.
MLB: Sarah Gilbert, yeah, great girl.
Helen: I heard she’s a lesbian.
MLB: Yeah, she and her partner have such a beautiful commitment.
Helen: I went to Smith, actually. So it’s sort of like I’m an honorary lesbian.
MLB: I guess I can see that.
Helen: So… you’re kind of balding, aren’t you?
MLB: Fuck off.


Helen: You must get that a lot.
MLB: Yep.
Helen: So, still in touch with Bronson Pinchot?
MLB: Fuck off.


Helen: You must get that a lot.
MLB: Yep.
Helen: So, still in touch with Bronson Pinchot?
MLB: Actually, and I’m only telling you this because I find you strangely attractive, but Bronson and I are secretly lovers. And, like I said, I find you really attractive, and I know Bron has been interested in trying something new lately. So what would you say if I asked you to, maybe, slip out the back and --
Helen: Fuck off.

2 comments:

richa said...

classic helen. . .

Leila said...

did you know that bronson pinchot hit on me once? oh my life, it is so glamourous.