12.19.2005

Snark Ye Herald Angels

Inspired by the witty Banterist, my own Interwebs Edition of Grammar Cop.

Defendant: The New York Daily News

Charge 1: Flagrant misuse of apostrophe in pluralization of "greeting," a word which is not in any way confusing or difficult or unusual to pluralize (i.e. "moose," "jones," "addendum")

Charge 2: Demonstrating an unacceptable lack of proofreading, considering the offending party is a newspaper, and thus in theory employs people whose sole job function is to look out for and correct this type of error.

Charge 3: Displaying the offending structure in a connected script text, making the break between the G and the S exponentially more obvious than it would be had it been in a normal font.

Charge 4: Making the damn thing flash red and green.

Report: Officer Helen was reading about out-and-about actor Nathan Lane's sarcastic take on Brokeback Mountain, a movie with which Officer Helen is obsessed, and noticed this atrocity flashing on the screen. Capturing it for eternity was a simple matter of left-clicking.

Fine: $31.50, the cost of a six-line Kwanzaa message*

*a side note of social commentary: a Kwanzaa message is the abovementioned $31.50. A Christmas message is $42 even. A Hanukkah message is $52.50. What can we learn from this? Black people are poor, and Jews are rich. Thanks, New York Daily News!

1 comment:

L said...

I think you cut it off. The full sentence was "Get Details On Placing Your Holiday Greeting's Illegitimate Bundle of Joy In a Loving Foster Home for the Holidays."