1.17.2006

Chicken McLoveYou

Okay fine, I'll admit it, I am totally obsessed with chicken nuggets. Or maybe it's just that they, as a concept, are stalking me. Because there is this commercial for Wendy's 99-cent super value menu that hangs its hat on the idea of everyday folks referring to everyday dollar amounts in terms of items available on the SVM. So you get a guy getting a parking ticket who says to the officer "Awww, seventy-five junior bacon cheeseburgers?!" The wit, naturally, is staggering.

But along with ticket boy (and I would humbly suggest that if you are so obsessed with this fast food menu as to mentally calculate the amount of your speeding ticket in terms of items listed thereupon, maybe getting behind the wheel isn't such a hot idea), there is also a lovely domestic scene of a woman putting on jewelry and her husband coming up behind her and saying "Honey, you look like a million crispy chicken nuggets."

I have some problems with this. First, some cursory research teaches us that the crispy chicken nuggets this dude is referring to come five to a pack, so while it might sound like he's riffing on the common "honey, you look like a million bucks" compliment, he's in reality telling his wife she looks like 200,000 orders of crispy chicken nuggets. So here we're already working with a slightly lesser valuation of his wife's attractiveness - definitely not enough to warrant the loving look she gives him. "Hey baby, you look like a fifth of a mil" just doesn't quite have that ring to it.

BUT THEN, watchful watchers of the Wendy's SVM will note that the SVM in question is actually a $0.99 menu. So she doesn't even look like 200k, she looks like $198,000. Can't even shell out for the extra two grand, jerkface? Some caring husband you are.

On the upside, with tax she looks like $214,000. Aww. He must really love her.

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2 comments:

L said...

H, you're on a roll.

Anonymous said...

It is truly pathetic that I already had thought the same thing about the chicken nuggets not being phrased "boxes of chicken nuggets" or some such before reading this post. My second thought was "maybe the nuggets are 99 cents each, which just isn't a value". Then I remembered that people still eat meat and felt a little ill.

Are you going to BU? Debating or judging, if so?

-Storey