1.22.2006

the grossest recipe of all time

In direct contrast to the greatest recipe of all time, I'm slightly nauseated to present this gem, courtesy of the Recipes page on the fansite for Donnie Munro.

This sentence is where I would normally provide a brief and sarcastic explanation of who this guy is, but even after having read his bio page I have absolutely no clue what the hell he does or why people care enough about him to have a fansite that involves totally unrelated recipes. As if his fans can say "I am so in love with Donnie Munro that having made this dinner of Aberdeen Butteries (major ingredients: lard and yeast) as suggested by another major Donnie Munro fan (munrosketeer?) is a tangible expression of my appreciation for him!" Anyway, this recipe is repulsive. It is repeated here precisely as it appears on the recipe page, which I found thanks to random googling:

Gaelic Mushrooms
Stuff mushrooms with haggis. Roll in flour, beaten egg and then oatmeal (in that order). Deep fry and serve with a dollop of drambuie mayonnaise (or liqueur of your choice) - to make mayonnaise mix a teaspoonful of liqueur with approx. 3 tablespoons of mayo. - From Ceit
Just in case you don't happen to have haggis on hand, here's a recipe for that too:
1 sheep's stomach
1 sheep heart
1 sheep liver
1/2 lb suet, fresh (kidney leaf fat is preferred)
3/4 c oatmeal
1 ts salt
1/2 ts pepper
1/4 ts cayenne
1/2 ts nutmeg
3/4 c stock
Wash stomach well, rub with salt and rinse. Remove membranes and excess fat. Soak in cold salted water for several hours. Turn stomach inside out for stuffing.Cover heart and liver with cold water, Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Chop heart and coarsely grate liver. Toast oatmeal in a skillet on top of the stove, stirring frequently, until golden. Combine all ingredients and mix well. Loosely pack mixture into stomach, about two-thirds full. Remember, oatmeal expands in cooking. Press any air out of stomach and truss securely. Put into boiling water to cover. Simmer for 3 hours, uncovered, adding more water as needed to maintain water level. Prick stomach several times with a sharp needle when it begins to swell; this keeps the bag from bursting. Place on a hot platter, removing trussing strings. Serve with a spoon.
God help us all. God help Donnie Munro.

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7 comments:

ljd said...

"Turn stomach inside out" indeed. They don't even tell you what type of mushrooms to use.

Naugler said...

Once a year at my high school, we had a formal dinner at which Haggis was served. There was a competition to see who could eat the most Haggis.
All of this in kilts of course.
"New Scotland" indeed.

Anonymous said...

Haggis isn't disgusting at all - it's a sausage like any other. Y'know that stuff real people outwith the navel-contemplating classes eat.

sarah ellen - ayrgael said...

Button mushrooms are usually best and Ceit is not only a fluent gaelic speaker but also a cordon bleu chef. Suggest that since Donnnie Munro won the Trad Music of The Year Award God did indeed take a hand in proceedings.
Bright blessings
Ayrgael xx

Anonymous said...

I love haggis, and I think I'll try this at Christmas. I'll use Cremini mushrooms because of their shape and flavour. Most haggis today is served in an ordinary sausage casing or a bag made of some kind of bovine product. You don't ask what's in a Bratwurst, do you?

Warthog

Anonymous said...

my husband says to lightly comb the sheep fur with cocktail sauce.

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