3.31.2006

hipster makeup reviews, part ii: Mascara

Previously in the world of super-trendy (yet never admitting to trend! I was into trend when it was still playing basements in Bushwick! now everyone is into trend and I can't deal with how normalized it is) makeup, we explored lip gloss that admits, up front, its social allegiance. I actually wear this lip gloss with moderate regularity, and find it to be both nicely moisturizing and pleasantly tinted. It's pretty awesome.

So what they tell you - and by "they" I mean the cabal of makeup-industry executives and magazine beauty editors, who together convince me that it's totally worth it to spend $55 on an eyeshadow quad I will wear exactly once, just because it's Chanel - is that you should replace your mascara every six months. This actually isn't such a bad idea when i think about it, since after all you are glopping the stuff on within millimeters of your eyeball and having a clean set of black eyelash-paint really can't but help your chances of not getting a crippling bout of incubated pinkeye or whatever that thing is that's been all over the front page of the New York Times and is causing everyone to go blind (clearly I care).

So, ladida, off to Duane Reade to buy new mascara. Where I decide to go with Almay, because they have clean packaging that is subconsciously reassuring in its muted colors and lack of metallic lettering proclaiming that my eyelashes will be VOLUMINOUS and ARCHITECTURAL and IMPOSSIBLY LONG. Because, honestly, I like a well-lashed eye as much as the next average American, but I am not really looking to become the Diane Witt of eye-hair so I don't know, it's a little intimidating.

Here's what I bought: Almay Bright Eyes Mascara, in black-brown. Here is a picture of Conor Oberst, aka Bright Eyes:I'm a big fan of Bright Eyes, both metaphorically (who doesn't like a glowing eye?) and musically (who doesn't like First Day of My Life?), and so it warms the cockles (or does one lift cockles?) of my heart to see Conor Oberst, talented and neo-Dylanic as he may be, honored in mascara form. He's not an unattractive guy, though he's distinctly lacking in the eyelash department. Perhaps he should wear some mascara. Perhaps he should wear Bright Eyes mascara. Then Bright Eyes would be wearing Bright Eyes and thus would possess bright eyes! The mind boggles.

It is worth noting that I am wearing Bright Eyes mascara at this very moment, and no, my eyelashes are no closer to writing a blues-informed lyrics-driven acoustic song of heartbreak and self-loathing than, you know, they normally are.

4 comments:

ljd said...

Yep, still looks like Kris Wraight.

Mascara Expert said...

Cool post! Also, check out this expert advise on the best mascara. Mascara recommendations from the real pros!

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