3.01.2006

the norton anthology of university presidents

The double dactyl/higgledy-piggledy poem consists of two quatrains with two dactyls per line. The first line is "higgledy-piggledy"; the second, a proper name; the sixth line is, ideally, a single double dactyl word. The fourth and eighth lines, which rhyme with each other, are both truncated, lacking the final two unaccented syllables.

Ruth Simmons, John Connolly, Carol Christ, Lawrence H. Summers, and Ralph Hexter are all individuals who at some point in their lives have served as university presidents (with a slight weight towards those who were in the Valley).

Put these together and you get (drum roll, please):
Helen's Higher Education Administration Poetry Corner

It's entirely likely that this will become, like Tuesday Glossaries, a semi-regular feature. It's also entirely likely that in all the world, I am the dorkiest individual to ever exist. But I embrace that, and affirm it. On with the poetry!

Higgledy Piggledy
Ruth Simmons, doctor
of something or other,
Harvard '76,
has been quite presidential
peripatetically:
Smith to Brown, Brown to Harvard?
Yawn. Same old schtick.

Higgledy Piggledy
Johnny F. Connolly
although not a part of a
minority crew
(a white christian male
as the Smith College president?!)
was beloved by all: straight,
gay, trans, and Q

Higgledy Piggledy
Christ-comma-Carol
(pronounced as in "christmas"
instead of like "spliced")
served somewhat inconsistently -
vascillatorily -
such falling and rising - Smith's
very own christ.

Higgledy Piggledy
Lawrence H. Summers:
ex cathedra at Harvard,
acknowledged, up front
that girls might be lesser
quantitophilosophically.
He wouldn't be fired if
he had a cunt.

Higgledy Piggledy
Ralph Hexter, president,
Prince's successor
at Hampshire. And yet -
Hexter's dexterity,
(following royalty!)
marked him as clearly
heir apparent.
I will now turn of my dorkitude function and attempt to live my life as a normal human being. Attempt.


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