3.30.2007

moral dilemma; fashion crisis

i'm conflicted.

my opinions on fashion are generally uncensored. i don't like lace leggings. i am particularly incensed by lace-trimmed leggings. i have gone so far as to eviscerate a lace-trimmed-leggings-wearing and otherwise perfectly innocent person who just happened to be walking past me when i had my cameraphone at the ready, the evisceration of whom led to the second thing the lovely man who is now my boyfriend ever said to me, which was: "I am [talking to you] despite my extreme fear of having you look at me and then chronicle my fashion faux-pas on RSGo."

the woman walking in front of me today had no lace on her person. none. she looked friendly, her hair was glossy, and i liked her handbag. let it be known that i feel bad about what i am about to do, which is: post her picture on the internet.




true story: i have a new cell phone and when i take a cameraphone picture it makes this fake shutter-click noise very loudly. whenever i snapped a shot of this poor woman's legs, it reverberated throughout the West Village, and i had to very quickly flip my camera around and suck in my cheeks and pretend that i was taking a self-portrait, because she would turn around and look at me every single time.

another true story: this woman was not wearing underwear. it's not evident from the photo (or maybe it is, since the particularly skin-adhering property of these pants would probably let us know if there were a pantyline to be had) but oh boy did these leggings verge on transparent. i kind of wanted to know what she looked like from the front, but wasn't sure of the proper etiquette as regards checking to see if someone's ladyparts are showing, without resorting to a quick jog to get half a block in front of her, an exaggerated "oh no! i forgot an object that i own!" and then moving back down the block towards her. which seemed excessive.

as a final note i would like to make sure everyone notices that she is wearing a plaid blazer and patent-leather flats and, as previously expressed, holding quite a nice bag. the niceness of these three things leads me to think that this outfit was no accident, and she is wearing it to work. much like demi moore's infamous oscar night bike shorts, a woman looked in the mirror and said to herself "there is absolutely nothing wrong with going out in public like this." unlike demi moore, however, this woman was not having this reflection-conversation in 1989.

6 comments:

a lady said...

oh god. oh god oh god oh god.

I was leaving Saks last week and saw not one, but two obviously moneyed, yoga-thin women in their mid-late 40s walking up fifth ave. wearing leggings and non-workout accoutrements and tops. now, these women were skinny, so the rear action was less obscene, more a tragic commentary on what happens when you underdo it with the carbs:
their asses were so non-existent that they had a weird, pouchy sort of cameltoe going on IN THE BACK. a camel-toe effect caused by extra leggings fabric.

how is it possible to have extra leggings fabric? how??

also: drinks. next week. mind the camera phone action.

bots! said...

those are so thin I can see her genetics from here.

ali said...

this is just wrong.
sometimes i wonder what is going through certain people's minds when they dress themselves...

Celisse said...

Oh my good Lord. Someone needs to tell her that not everyone is Rachel Bilson.

I like leggings though. But I would never ever ever wear them solo.

Erica AP said...

Haha... That is seriously nasty. And you are seriously pretty funny... Found you on IT2M. :)

coolbeans said...

She had to be wearing this on a dare. I'm going to cling to that notion so I can sleep tonight.