9.02.2007

good news and bad news

the good news -- incredible, extraordinary, and worthy of celebration -- is that i have finally learned how to like gin! this was not easy, and required a very strict training regimen that proceeded as follows:

ages 0-16: never consume it.
age 16: at a cousin's bar mitzvah, dad offers a sip of his gin & tonic. find it repulsive and instead go for a vodka gimlet.
age 20: read Lolita, decide to be Humbert Humbert. realize that femaleness and lack of sexual attraction to prepubescents probably puts a damper on that, but some patina of creepy-old-manness can be assumed by drinking HH's drink, gin and pineapple. note, with happiness, that the pineapple obscures most of the flavor of the gin.
two weeks later: forget about this.
age 23: a friend reads Lolita and does the same "at least i can adopt his drink" thing. era of gin & pineapple resumes.
age 25 (right now): having been fed innumerable gin & tonics (gins & tonic?) at last weekend's wedding, the first of which was consumed when already too inebriated to register distaste, find self actively craving the commingled flavors of juniper and quinine. adulthood has finally arrived! or possibly alcoholism.

the bad news is that i didn't win the lottery. no ponies for anyone, unless you buy them yourselves.

3 comments:

Neil said...

There are a lot of disappointed pony lovers out there tonight.

Cunning Linguist said...

so ya didn't hit the "big one" No harm or foul. You're in good company with the rest of us I suppose.

As for the Gin. It's always been my drink of choice. Try a Gin & Ginger. Not quite as sweet as the pineapple, but it has good taste. I usually put a little ummbrella in mine. *strikes the Steve Martin pose from The Jerk* Be Somebody! *big grin*

Marcin said...

Once again, your life creepily almosrt parallels mine: aged twenty-five, I have now acquired a taste for gin-and-tonics (and gin drinks in general) from my future mother-in-law. My bride to be is still to young to enjoy gin (twenty-one), and we shall see whether that changes in four years.

However, I have never decided to be Humbert Humbert. What the hell were you thinking, Helen? Huh?