this is what i do all day

my company publishes this one ridiculously famous book about pregnancy. you have probably heard of it. fun fact: Britney read it during her first pregnancy, but maybe you have to be literate for it to make a difference.

The Book was pretty much a featured player in the extremely awesome movie Knocked Up, and for various publishing-company-related reasons, today I needed to find a still of a scene in the movie in which the book appears. Unfortunately, the DVD isn't out until next week, and I needed the screen shot today.

and then in the course of listening to me complain about my impossible task, a coworker of mine clued me in to the fact that the super-creepy porn stores along 8th avenue around Times Square often sell release-date DVDs way before the actual release date. I guess they need this as an incentive for customers to come in and then when they are aglow with the thrill of having Harry Potter 5 before everyone else, they will be all "you know what I need now? porn!" and then the store will have served its purpose.

so because i have this crazy and deep love for my job, which often manifests itself in absurd and possibly illegal ways, i went to The Land Of Seedy Porn Shops and walked into many of them and went up to the counters and asked the nice men behind the counters if they had Knocked Up.

and none of them did. until one shop, where I said "do you have the movie Knocked Up? it's new."

and the friendly man of Indian (or possibly Pakistani [can muslims own porn stores?]) descent nodded happily and said yes, they just got it in, and led me back into the surprisingly well-lit aisles of the store until we got to the fetish section (alphabetized, i am not kidding, by topic). and when he started looking at the pregnancy-related naked-people motion pictures and gestured for me to take my pick, i realized there was a confusion.

"it's not a porn," i said.
"it's not a porn?"
"no, it's not a porn."
"oh. no. sorry. we don't have it."

so anyway i wound up back at the office empty-handed, and then i realized hello, i am a jew who works in media so i should be able to do anything, right? so i got a free trial subscription to imdb pro and called up Judd Apatow's production company and told them who I was and who I worked for and asked for what I needed and they're emailing it to me on Monday. The end.

alanis-ironic update: a different coworker just called me, like, one second after i posted this and said "i just saw your blog post and you know we already have that image, right?"


Will said...

Oddly enough I own the OTHER Knocked up.

meredith said...

oddly enough, I AM knocked up.*

*not true.

Marcin said...

Uhh, that's not what the patriarchy thinks.

Anonymous said...

At one point, didn't you defend Britney as a role model for girls?

Matt Carman said...

Did you just say, "Harry Potter 5"?

Fuck you.

helen said...

was i supposed to say OOTP?