basse cuisine

Haute cuisine generally concerns itself with truffles and seafood preceded by the word "dayboat" and -ottos made with non ris- grains like farro and whatnot and sauces made via tincture and microvegetables that cost $23 per 3 ounces. And I like haute cuisine very much, and eat it whenever the budget and disposition allow, but there are times when one must cry "enough already with the sage-encrusted trumpet mushrooms!" and fall headfirst into a pot of Kraft Cheese-and-Macaroni.

Boxed mac and cheese is notable because it requires only four ingredients - noodles, cheese powder, butter, milk - to create extraordinary happiness. But what if I told you that you could achieve comparable happiness with only three ingredients? What then?

Enter My Dad's (Or Maybe My Grandma's) Sweet-and-Sour Meatballs.

You need:
- ground beef
- ketchup
- ginger ale

These meatballs are astonishingly delicious and I will not accept criticism until you have made and tasted them yourself.

Pour 1 part ketchup and 1.5 parts ginger ale into a pot. I go for a whole 14-ounce bottle of Heinz and then a 20-ounce bottle of Canada Dry, which is a decent enough approximation. Stir them together. Put them over heat. Spend the time that the ketchup and ginger ale are heating up turning about a pound of ground beef into small meatballs, about one inch in diameter. Add the meatballs to the pot.

Soon the pot will resemble the surface of Mars:

Turn the heat down to a simmer, cover the pot, and let it hang out there for an hour. Then it is done, and you can either remove the meatballs with a slotted spoon and eat them with toothpicks, dipping them in the remaining sauce, or you can spoon the meatballs and sauce over some sort of starch such as noodles, rice, or potatoes.

They are delicious, and - thanks to the "food closeup" setting on my camera (not a joke), quite beautiful.

even closer, you say?

Look at that glistening sphere of meat. The glisten means the deliciousness is working. You can thank me later.

nb to cookie-recipients: your baked goods have entered the jurisdiction of the US Postal Service. the matter is now out of my hands.


Kat said...

1. that closeup is ewww
2. however, strangely makes me want to eat meatballs.

yup, I'll try it.

Rococo Cocoa is Joe said...

it kind of looks like orange chicken. in other news, yay for cookies!

Leila said...

Dude! Kraft mac & cheese is sooo much better sans butter.

joe said...

I haven't checked the codex recently, but I'm pretty sure by posting this recipe online you are eligible for excommunication from the Rosner clan.

also, the fact that your camera has a setting literally titled "food closeup" just made my evening.

Alysa said...

nsane! Will be taking a gander at this one for sure.
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