fetuses are a type-2 recyclable plastic

Mr. B and I were up until about 2am last night arguing having a civilized conversation about abortion and sex ed and what is the appropriate age at which to put a hypothetical daughter on birth control. (Me: when she starts going to alcohol-present parties or on dates with people. Mr B: "there is no way my daughter will ever have sex ever because I will violently remove the manparts of all non-me males within ten miles of her for the entirety of her life."*)

So while I was already in the right mindset when I arrived at work this morning and read that the Planned Parenthood in Aurora, Illinois has finally opened (hurrah!), I'm not sure that there's anything in the world that could have prepared me for the inanity of this quote:

But Lucie Groleske of Aurora said she wanted to remind women there are alternatives to abortion.

“In this age when people are trying to ‘go green’ and recycle, recycle, recycle, yet people are throwing away the most valuable resource on this planet — a human being,” said the 37-year-old stay-at-home mother of four.

Can anyone help me figure out what in the Sam Hill this woman is talking about? Marcin suggested that "One can recycle foetuses into a variety of valuable products, including gourmet soup!" So basically my takeaway from that is that I will not be having him cook for me.

I will not even get started on the scoffability of a woman with the financial and social luxury of being a stay-at-home mother of four making a case about abortion being somehow environmentally harmful. Additionally, google has revealed to me that this man is her husband. And, um. Wow.

*This is a paraphrase.


Marcin said...

Hmm, if I hadn't already cracked my running gag today, this would be perfect for it.

Anyway, I would suggest that the appropriate age is when you suspect that she might be drinking, or near alcohol, and when you suspect that she might be going on dates with boys at all, even a bit.

Importantly, I recommend that you give her small amounts of alcohol in the family home, with normal family meals, in order to de-mystify alcohol.

Anonymous said...

a really demented way of suggesting adoption...

Jess said...

Fetuses can sort of be recycled... into stem cells, for research. I totally bet that's what this woman was trying to promote.

the great man-mountain said...

I believe she is only suggesting, although obtusely, something in the vein of Swift. Yes, that must be it. Certainly.

Marie said...

Your question about birth control contains a fatal flaw: that YOU would be providing your daughter with birth control.

The way I see it, if she thinks she's old enough to have sex, then she's old enough to walk into her friendly Walgreen's, wander hte aisles looking for the condom and lube display, pick up a 12 pack of Trojan Ribbed for Her Pleasure, and then risk running into her 3rd grade teacher at the check out counter. Alternatively, she can drive her ass to the Planned Parenthood in Aurora.

Marcin said...

Marie, that is a genius idea! Not giving your child contraception is a great way of preventing them having sex. That's why the slogan "Just say no" is so prevalent, and is now the standard way of stopping people from doing things which are unsafe.