perfectly proportioned

In my teaching days, one of my favorite in-class tricks was explaining the difference of relative vs. absolute quantities. "Sixty percent of my friends wear ugly pants" and "Three of my friends wear ugly pants" each paint very different pictures of my social life (though, I don't know, which is worse: the idea of vast percentages of my acquaintances in icky trousers, or the idea that I have only four five friends? Now that I think of it I deeply hope neither is true.), and furthermore each without the other is a fairly meaningless commentary on the state of reality.

So pick your poison: This Bottega Veneta dress is on sale for $936 less than its original price or This Bottega Veneta dress is 40% off.

Either way it is still fourteen hundred dollars for a freaking dress.

Albeit a painfully beautiful cashmere blend, silk-lined dress in my favorite silhouette of all time with really kickassedly awesome oversized hook-and-eye closures in the back that might or might not be available in my size but nevertheless due to the fact that it basically, with shipping and the inevitable dry-cleaning bill required due to its whiteness, costs two months rent*, is not something I will ever have a rational or financially sound reason to own.

*or, put another way, one-sixth of my annual expenditure on shelter.


Mace Elaine said...

Not to be a math nerd, but doesn't that mean you only have five friends? Either way, it's pretty sad, H.

Anonymous said...

Not to be a grammar nerd, MaceElaine... but doesn't that mean that Helen has ONLY five friends?

helen said...

Not to be a usage nerd, Anonymous, but it depends on whether Mace meant to imply that having five friends was something on worth passing derogatory judgment, or whether she meant to imply an emphatic restriction at five.

Interesting distinction, though. Innnnnteresting...