I'm Lancôming!

Aloha, readers of this website who are my mom and my boss! I am about to talk about sex!

Well shoot, now I have ruined my punchline. Anyway, the point is, this:

ÔSCILLATION - Vibrating Infinite Powermascara
What it is:
The first vibrating powermascara by Lancôme.

What it does:
This revolutionary mascara provides 7000 oscillations per minute for ultimate lash transformation. Press the button and experience a breakthrough sensation in application. In one easy new gesture, let the vibrating brush combined with an exquisitely smooth formula wrap every lash up to 360 degrees.

What else you need to know:
With ÔSCILLATION Vibrating Infinite Powermascara, your lashes will instantly appear ultimately extended, exceptionally separated, and spectacularly multiplied in number.
"Press the button and experience a breakthrough sensation" indeed. Get it? IT IS BASICALLY A SEX TOY. That contains mascara. Saves some room in the purse, though, I suppose. Do you desperately, deeply need it? You can buy it — for one day only! — here. And I will make fun of you — for many days! — here.


Marcin said...

You prude.

Ps I see you have twitter now. It is for gays*.

*This is childish fun. Do not be homophobic in a public forum, kids.

ljd said...

Up to but not exceeding 360 degrees, I would think.

paulitheism said...

Helen, please dump your boyfriend, come to California, and marry me. I promise you as much makeup as you can recharge.

Mike said...

I remember a few years back, there was a Harry Potter toy that was a vibrating broomstick. They took it off the market because, well, let's just say it was popular with older girls than the target audience.