6.29.2008

afternoon of a thousand stars

Today I saw the musical Grease, on Broadway, starring the winners of the NBC reality show/talent contest/travesty of entertaininment Grease: You're the One That I Want, and also Taylor Hicks, winner of FOX's American Idol, and also at the intermission point my Grandma pointed out that Mister I Am Going To Simultaneously War With Helen Over The Armrest And Also Play With My iPhone During The Whole First Act was in fact Daniel Dae Kim, aka the Asian dude on ABC's Lost.

I have seen zero episodes of any of these shows, but the 50s nostalgia that the show engendered in me, plus the fact that the reality show stars onstage were all in fact sort of awesomely talented have conspired together to make me feel very reinvigorated about the state of network television in America.

Also I made lamb dumplings tonight and they were awesome, and this is an unrelated fact but I am going to have to talk about food more on here for reasons I will reveal when I am psychologically prepared to Admit To The Internet a fun fact about my life.

6.05.2008

rub a dub


The Hairwash Project. Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. And in Russian!

6.04.2008

the pants in the family

Oh mah gah.

Kmart has been trying to revamp their clothing offerings to compete with folks like Target, whose trend-driven garments and designer collaborations carry a certain high-low cachet among the sorts of people who, like me, spend more cumulative hours thinking about what to wear on a certain occasion than they actually spend in said outfit at said occasion. Blah blah market share etc.

ANYWAY. Apparently Target has been catering to the "brazen slut" segment of the clothes-buying population, and Kmart is going to put them in their disease-and-low-moral-infected place, and they are going to do it via these pants:



Just to make sure you are really getting this, these are cropped sweatpants from the juniors department that say, in the kind of bubble letters I used to write my name on the inside of my Lisa Frank folders in 4th grade, TRUE LOVE WAITS.

The product description:

Whether she is lounging around the house, going to practice, or doing her chores. These soft athletic style crop pants will keep her comfy. Perfect for wearing with her favorite sweatshirt or tee. These athletic pants boldly proclaim just where she stands by pointing out that "True Love Waits" in a large screen print on the front and back of these pants.

* Drawstring waist
* Bold abstinence screen print
* Elastic cuffs. Cotton/Polyester blend
* Machine washable
* Imported
First off, "Bold abstinence screen print" is a feature, one that is listed between the drawstring and the elastic cuffs, and that is ridiculous. BUT IT GETS BETTER. Because when you turn the girl wearing these pants around, do you know what it says in bright bubbly juvenile letters over her bright bubbly juvenile butt? IT ALSO SAYS, AGAIN, TRUE LOVE WAITS.

I can't decide, here, whether to end on the hilarious irony of having a junior's department shopper's ass (demographic age range: 12-18) essentially saying "I know you're staring at me, lechy old mister, but you're gonna have to make an honest pre-teen out of me before you can tap this word-adorned butt." Or to end on the observation that this product has exactly two user reviews, resulting in a score of 2.5 of 5 stars, indicating that perhaps for one of these two users the pants did, in fact, maintain abstinence, meriting five stars. WHILE THE POOR SECOND USER FOUND HERSELF AFLAME WITH GODLESS HARLOTRY. And now is forced to shop at Target.

(via Shakespeare's Sister)