Let's say you're a lady visiting Jordan. Sure, the capital city of Amman might be modern and forward-thinking, but leave the city and you're pretty sternly reminded that you're in a conservative, predominantly Muslim nation, and while everyone is very nice there's a reason the guidebooks recommend that in order to avoid "unpleasant attention" from men on the street you should probably wear loose-fitting clothes that cover more than they reveal. Given all that, what do you wear?
If you are a particular Australian tourist standing in front of me at Petra, you wear this:
It's worth noting here that while Mr. B has in the past threatened to leave me for my habit of taking pictures of people's horrible clothing choices, in this instance he threatened to leave me if I didn't. See also: True Love Waits.
If you are the sort of girl who goes on hikes through canyons in the Jordanian desert in order to see ancient Nabatean ruins, but you are also all "I would like to wear a full face of makeup while doing this," you could do worse than Blinc mascara and Revlon Colorstay somethingsomething Sport foundation. They are mindblowingly resistant to midday desert temperatures and hiking-induced sweat, which is great in and of itself but is doubly great when you consider that it avoids the drippy-raccoon-eye look that would, in photos, preserve for all eternity your status as the girl who wore mascara on the hike to Petra. With these products you can be that girl, but no one need know about it unless you are so foolish as to write about it on your publicly readable blog.
Monday: Coffee with powdered creamer. 10am and 3pm.
Tuesday: Peanut M&Ms, Diet Coke. 4pm.
Wednesday: Maruchan Instant Lunch, chicken flavor, found on the free stuff table. 2:45pm.
Eric sent me a link to these Penguin Classics deck chairs (available from Bloomsbury UK) and immediately started feeling sorry for myself for not having a deck on which to place them. And then I was like, come on, Helen. You have a deck! But they're all on backorder, and I am poor, and really I have so many books anyway that if I start buying furniture modeled on books it'll be impossible to tell what is what in my apartment.
It's true. I was so blinded by the awesomeness of these chairs that I actually forgot the layout of my own home. They are that great.
An actual email I sent today:
leggings are sort of between tights and jeans. they are more coverage (in terms of opacity) and they allow you to wear a greater range of footwear (i.e. sandals). It's important to distinguish between leggings (which have a heavy fabric weight and often will have side seams, think the kind of stretch pants you'd wear to the gym) and footless tights (which are, um, footless tights) when making a pants/no pants decision.Sometimes I don't even know who I am.
My friend Paula is awesome, talented, ravenously hungry, and planning to spend a month traveling around Iowa, Minnesota, and Wisconsin to compile what I imagine is going to be The Hipster Midwestern Cookbook, except without the sucky parts implied by the word "hipster."
You should give her a little money to help it happen. Howsaboutit?