I am a food writer. FAQ.

Do you eat out, like, all the time?

So you review restaurants, right?

Are you a really good cook?
I'm okay.

Are you friends with lots of famous chefs?
Sort of. Not really. Mostly their publicists.

Do you know Mario Batali?


Where should I have dinner on Saturday? We're a group of six, we want somewhere new and hip. Not Brooklyn.
AUTO RESPONSE: I am away from my computer right now.

Where should I have dinner on Saturday? We're a group of six, we want somewhere cool but not aggressively hipster, not crazy loud, under $50/person without alcohol, really excellent food, West Village would be great, we don't mind waiting for a table.
Joseph Leonard

I'm coming to town next month - where can I get a great cupcake?
You can't. Good cupcakes are no longer commercially available in New York because people like you ruined them.

Why is the line at Shake Shack so long?
Eating is a subjective sensory experience, and people are willing to spend time waiting for this particular subjective sensory experience, because it is a fucking delicious one. Time is not as fungible as econ bloggers want you to think it is.

How can I get your job?
You could kill me and wear my skin, I guess? But someone might notice.


Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Everybody feels poor right now. Expensive food writing and expensive clothing writing are fantasy pieces that aren't realistic. We're keeping alive the myth that capitalism is still working, when in fact we've been gutted. Things are closing everywhere and nobody can afford this s--t, unless they're like me at my worst, where say 'f--k it, it's just another credit card.' There's a very small percentage of people who live on the Upper East Side, who can buy these meals and clothes and shoes. I'm not one of them. Most of the people I know aren't these people. They're educated people, they've got PhDs, but they don't have any money.

The inimitable Cintra Wilson (about whom I have written previously, as a result of which she emailed me!) tells it straight in the Huffington Post.